Being a stay-at-home mom was the best decision I ever made. I loved being the one to walk through every milestone with my kids, taking them to library classes, feeding them every meal, and spending quality time with all three of them. However, as wonderful as all of these experiences are, they can also be challenging. When flipped the other way, it might sound like this: You’re responsible for watching every little movement they make, especially as new walkers. You must ensure they get enough socialization with their peers. Sometimes, you just want a break from feeding kids and crave a hot meal alone. You also have to spread yourself thin to ensure quality time with each child. I prefer to phrase it as I first did, but on hard days, it can feel overwhelming.
I’m thoroughly grateful to have been able to stay home with my kids. As I look back at old photos of them as babies, I truly do not know where the time went. How can they be 4, 5, and 7 now? While being there for every step is wonderful, it’s hard to find time for yourself, as well as keeping the house clean, cooking, laundry, and all the other responsibilities of adulthood.
Here are five ways to feel fulfilled when your life is consumed by children:
1) Exercise: Getting some time to yourself each day leads to a more productive day, better sleep, and a sound mind. You can look back at previous blogs for workouts I do and the benefits of exercising as a mom.
2) Enjoy the small victories: Especially in the early newborn days, it can feel like a victory just to get a shower. Relish those moments and praise yourself for what you’ve accomplished. I get excited when I can clean the whole house with all three kids home without ever turning on the TV. Those victories—when you can be productive, play with your kids, and hit the pillow knowing you did a great job as a mom—are what it’s all about!
3) Having a part-time job: Throughout the 8 years I’ve been home with my kids, I’ve tried many different jobs. I started as a waitress at night, which was great for the cash and having adults to talk to. Next, I worked as a tutor at night for a few months, which was also great cash but involved long travel distances. Then, I worked as a high school diving coach for three seasons, which was 3 nights a week for 2 hours plus some weekends. I loved coaching and being back in the water. Now, I have a part-time ENL job at BOCES, which is a dream job. I love the people I work with, the students I teach, and the fulfillment of getting some time out of the house. My husband has always supported me in finding the best part-time job and has taken on the night routine solo like a champ.
4) Have people over: As daunting as it sounds to invite more kids into the house, it’s essential for your sanity. My sisters and I are creating amazing memories for our children, who will grow up to be the best of friends. We try to meet on a day that works for all of us, usually Wednesdays, at someone’s house, the pool, or a playground. I love entertaining, and it pays off when you see your children having so much fun with cousins or friends.
5) Finding mom friends: I am so lucky to have wonderful moms I’ve met along the way. Initially, I was nervous to put myself out there, but you just need to make the move. Say hello, ask to exchange numbers, and meet at a playground or library. Most times, you’re taking the first step someone else wanted to but was too nervous to take. Now, I have solid mom friends I can count on for any issue or question. This also includes my sisters, mom, and mother-in-law. It truly takes a village to raise children, and without the amazing women in my life, I’d be lost! These mom friends are there for playdates, family outings, playground fun, and more.
6) Groups to join: All three of my boys were signed up for the Little Gym from ages 1 to 3. It was a fantastic way to meet people, socialize with the kids, and help them learn new skills. My boys could somersault, balance on a beam, and flip on bars by age 2. It builds children’s confidence while having fun! We cannot say enough good things about the Little Gym of Levittown. This is where I met my best mom friend, who now feels like family. Our 5 kids have all known each other since they were 1 or even before they were born, and they feel more like cousins than friends!
On hard days, be grateful. As challenging as it sounds, stay-at-home moms need to appreciate the blessings they have. We are lucky enough to be there for every moment. Take a deep breath when you’ve had enough and remind yourself that it’s going to be okay and that you can do it, because you can!