Though I’ve only been a mom for eight years, I find myself in a new phase of parenting where my youngest is now four. They’re growing up and don’t rely on me for everything like they used to. Becoming a mom at 27 felt overwhelming—I still felt like a kid myself! If I had started my journey at 35, I know I would have approached motherhood in a completely different way. Here are ten things I wish I could share with my past self as a new mom.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff! I know it’s a cliché, but it really holds true! Having moved past the newborn phase, where I was solely responsible for nurturing a tiny human, I’ve gained so much confidence. Those little cries and fusses that seemed monumental at the time now feel so familiar. Honestly, not panicking over every minor detail is such valuable advice for any new mom!
Let Go of the Numbers. I’ve always found comfort in numbers—they flow and make sense. But when it comes to your child’s growth stats, don’t get too caught up! I spent so much time worrying about percentiles and comparisons. Each child has their own unique growth curve, something I only truly grasped after my third little one faced some challenges. If your baby is growing, smiling, and developing, that’s what really matters! The same goes for older kids—whether it’s test scores or sports stats, what’s most important is that they grow up to be kind and happy.
Take Time for Yourself! I know this can feel impossible with busy schedules and responsibilities, but carving out time for yourself is essential for your well-being. A solo walk, a trip to the salon, or even just shopping alone can be refreshing! I fondly remember those late-night grocery runs—quiet moments that brought me a sense of peace amid the chaos of motherhood.
Savor Nap Times! Nap time is a sacred gift! Use it to catch up on sleep or to tackle your to-do list, but if you need the rest, take it! And when you have multiple little ones, use that time for special one-on-one moments. Celebrate nap time for the joy it brings!
Cherish Each Stage! I often found myself rushing to the next milestone, but it’s so important to embrace the present moment. You’ll never have this exact day with your kids again, so soak in all the little joys of each stage, no matter their age.
Celebrate the Little Things! My husband and I have always loved celebrating—even the smallest victories! Whether it’s a school achievement or simply making it through a tough week, take the time to acknowledge and celebrate those moments. It creates wonderful memories for your kids and reinforces how proud you are of them. Also, tell them how proud you are of them and how much you love them everyday!
Embrace the Chaos! Kids bring a delightful kind of chaos! Your home may get messy, and germs might spread, but that’s all part of the adventure. Instead of worrying about perfection, focus on being present with your children. And remember, it’s okay to take a break for yourself!
Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Help! The hardest part for anyone is admitting you need the help and asking for it. But it makes you a better mom when you can ask people to be there to help. Raising children truly takes a village and you need as many people in your life to help! I am blessed with a wonderful village of sisters, brothers, in-laws, friends, aunts, uncles, etc! In my deepest moments during my postpartum journey with my third pregnancy, I needed to ask for help. I asked my family for help, I asked my husband for help and I asked a therapist for help! All of it should have been done sooner rather than holding it in until I was ready to burst! There is no shame in not doing everything on your ow
Let Go of Others’ Opinions. This has been the hardest lesson for me as I am very sensitive to what others say about myself and my family but truly and honestly who cares! Unless it is a life threatening condition, do what feels right in your mom’s gut. I got that advice as a first time mom, and I thought it was the worst advice because I was so unsure of what I was doing, but now as an experienced mom and older person, it truly is the best advice. When something feels off, look into it more, when something feels right go with it and then make a mistake. Mom gut tells you more than you would get from anyone else! This also goes the other way in not being judgemental in what others do! Everyone is doing their absolute best!
Focus on Yourself, Not Others. I’ve learned that I can’t fix or control other people; I can only work on myself. Instead of trying to manage everything around me, I’ve found it’s much more empowering to focus on my own growth and well-being.
Remember to support your friends who are currently in the trenches of motherhood. A simple text or gesture can brighten their day. Let them know they’re doing a fantastic job, and if you can, lend a hand or share a thoughtful gift—it will mean the world to them!